Hi you,
you make me feel much less than a human being. You used me, played with my emotions and led me the wrong way. And in the end, she came back into your life and you pushed me aside. You crushed me, my feelings, my heart, my hopes, my joy and everything else that I held close to, you took them away. Now, you just left me here...waiting and waiting. Waiting for you to realize how much hurt you're bringing me. I'm waiting for you...I don't know why I still am. I am trying to forget, but it's just so hard to because everything I do reminds me of you. You don't notice how similar we both are, huh. it's just so annoying how oblivious you are to everything, which makes me SICK. Sigh...have fun with her. Forget about it, I'll slowly walk out of your life (painlessly) just to make things happier and easier for you. :)

- with love,
   jan.

it's february. Valentine's day is 'round the corner and things are just...slowly clearing up (ish) Stress is kicking in and everything would soon be hectic. :/ brace it.

Hello 2010, how are you?


well, it's the 3rd of Jan, 2010. It hasn't sunken it yet, the fact that O levels are this year, and that I'm already sec 4. Gah, and already...so many dramatic things happened to me. argh, pisses me off.

nobody seems to be replying me. My smses, my msn chats. ): it's such a sad way to end my day. :/

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :)

I'm back from church camp and bali :) I must say, it was a great way of escaping things and getting my emotions/thoughts into place. I'm feeling much better now, and I want to thank God :)

Camp IGnormous was just incredible. My first time ever getting slained and just renewed my love for Jesus, once again. :) I love Jesus, I love God, I love the Holy Spirit. I love every bit of Him :) He never fails to renew me and touch me and He's just so so awesome. His love can never overcome anything in this world. Not the temporary love that the world offers, not the love you can get from a boyfriend, but His love is the best:) He loved us so much that God sent his only son, Jesus, to die for us. And it's just so amazing, come to think of it. :) Nothing can ever surpass the love He has showed. :) ahh, I love God. HAHA :)

Bali was just a great vacation. Water rafting, cycling, visiting the elephant park. A very nice way to relax and to throw aside everything. I went there with my dad and my elder sister. And it was just so fun spending time with them :) heart warming, aye? ahaa

:)

Christmas is in about 2-3 days and I can't wait :) Teehee. I'm writing Christmas cards right now, so I think I should get back to it:) YAYY
PS: I CAN'T WAIT FOR TMR. Meeting Intan and Syaf. MISS THEM LIKE SIAO

My week has been bleh, and I think it's due to PMS. So if I've been a bit heated with anyone lately, I'm super sorry. Blame it on me and my hormones. Okay?

Well, my week had its ups and downs. Particularly due to a certain someone, or something. I don't know. For me to know, and you to not try to find out :) It's been an emotional one, one that I would never want to be in ever again (for a 3rd time). I feel like crap now, and I don't think anyone knows that I feel this way. I want to cry, but my tap is broken. I think it's jammed up or something. Pfft. It just all seems to be falling apart now, and the feeling that comes with it is not something that I would like to feel any day. :/ gah.

(and yes people, I posted more than one line :) whoohoo!)

heartbreak,
happens far too much in 2 years. Gah.

Am I weird? I idea of CCA points don't excite me. Hmm...

I came back from OBS on Friday, and I really miss it! ): sighhh sighh sigh. anyho, OBS was very very extremely fun. I got darker, and I made friends :D HEHE. And the 3 other SAC girls in my group (Iffa, Mary and Meredith) kept me company during the 5 days. HEHE. FUN OR WHAT

OBS TOMORROW. I. CANT. WAIT.

Tired, sleepy and still alive. Holiday lessons have been rather good lately. Today we had 2 hours of A Math straight, and I am proud to tell you that I made through it alive. :) whoohoo :) :) Tomorrow would be our last day of the holiday lessons (!!!) after that I would be having choir. Argh, I'm really tired and I regret not sleeping at 9pm. Dah :/
Sighhh. I am really exhausted from today's drama lessons. Man, we did a lot of things. From games, to improv and our devised piece thing. I am incredibly tired now, and I should be doing TAWG now before I sleep but I'm not and that's not gooood ): sighh. anyway, I can't wait for the weekends because I get to sleep :) and I'm not serving this weekend so I can rest a little bit. Haha, combine jams on Saturday though. After that I would be going to buy OBS supplies with my dear mother :) Yes, OBS is on Monday and I can't wait. I'm in a way scared as well because I don't know what to expect and everything. Hahaha, Iffa knows exactly why as well :) Sunday Oh my my, it'll be really exciting because it's the end of year LCE so there would be a lot of exciting news. Hohohehee. I'm kinda looking forward to next year. :) I don't know what to expect of next year (though I know it'll be a whole mad rush of studying and stuff. I can't wait to finally graduate from SAC) hahaha.
Sorrrrry, my post today is kinda all over the place. I'm too lazy to read it over and edit it. hahahaha. I'm just saying anything that it on my mind right now. heh. well, I think I should really get going. I'm really dead beat and I'm dying without spending time with God (I don't know how I would survive during OBS...hmm..) sighh, I would post again when my mind is clearer. I've got a lot of things on my mind now, and I'm so argh about it. So I shall go seek God and pray. :) happy happy.
tell then! happy friday!

I was just browsing through Youtube just now and I stumbled onto these really great videos. And I would be putting up the verses that J.D had said up here! (: They're really great verses that just speak pure truths. I felt the Holy Spirit just tugging in my heart when I was watching these 2 videos. An awesome feeling being convicted by the Spirit cause I know that there's something changing in my heart. (: Strongly encourage all of you to watch these videos! Drop everything that you're doing for a good 20 minutes and just wind down to watch these two videos (: Hehehehe.

 

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out." - Romans 12:1-2 (The Message)

""I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?" - Amos 5:21-23 (The Message)

Went out with my school clique (minus nicole ):) today! (: Met at Dhouby Gaurt and went to get our tickets at the Grand Cathay for My Sister's Keeper at 2.45pm (: Ate lunch at Pizza Hut (where we kinda got broke.) and rushed back to the grand cathay for our movie (: Hehe, I loved the movie and the story. :D :D After that, we went to Cotton On for a browse, and Macs for fries, McFlurry and green tea. Then made our way to Far East Plaza where Iffa bought her shoes and I bought a couple of bracelets (: I'm quite happy, and I think I've satisfied my shopping cravings for now :)

I seem to have more things to say here than my blogger. hmmm..
Anyway, today was another good day where all we did in school today was 5 surveys, some handball introduction thing and played boardgames! On top of that, we had a 1.5hr recess slot (: Went home early at 12.30pm, and bathed and changed before heading down to coro for my birthday treat he had promised me. (: We went to New York; New York where we shared a ceaser salad and I had a banana split whilst he had a ice chocolate latte for dessert! Caught up, and talked a lot. Hahaha, and he also gave me a list of things to grow on and to do for the next 5 months. Encouraged me and spurred me on, and also imparted a lot of his life into mine (: He also gave me a capo and a pick for my birthday! I WAS COMPLETELY CAUGHT BY SURPRISE!
hehh(: I'm happy, and I can finally use a proper capo instead of the really old capo from Hong Kong! (: It's red, and it's niceee. HAHAHHA.

I spent my first day of post-exam activities hopping around in kangaroo jumps, playing Wii, getting back my drama results, learning about finance and catching a nice sunset when I was on the way home. (: Good way to start my post-exam activites because I got to work out a little bit, after a really long time (Yes, I am unhealthy). Hehehe.

And as you can see, I've changed my LJ to public instead of friends only. Yayy! (: But if there are some bleh posts that I'd rather keep to my friend/self, I would change it. Hehh!

Tomorrow is actually quite uncertain because I have no clue to what we're going to be doing tomorrow. Well, I'll be meeting Pastor Gary tomorrow after school at 4.30pm for my birthday threat that he has promised me from a long time ago. (: Hahaha, yay! And Thursday I would/might be crashing BroShannon's house with my cell for his birthday! HAHA. So exciting, (: I can't waiiiiit!

I didn't know packing you room could make you have a really bad headache, until today. ):